A Mindful Way to Reduce Stress and Develop Resilience

A Mindful Way To Reduce Stress And Develop Resilience

Session Themes ▪ Session 1: Cultivating Self-Awareness ▪ Session 2: Understanding your stress response and taking care of your nervous system ▪ Session 3: Taking stock of how you spend your time: Nourishing and Depleting Activities ▪ Session 4: Taking stock of your connections: Connecting to self, others and community

Session 4: Taking Stock Of Your Connections Connecting to self, others and community

What is Social Connection?  3rd on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs – after survival needs  Connection with others is about a sense of belonging and creating a shared sense of safety  We are wired to connect  Health Benefits of Social Connection  Social connections with family, friends, neighbors or colleagues improves the odds of survival by 50%  Low social connection similar to smoking 15 cigarettes a day, more harmful than not exercising, twice as harmful as obesity  Significant impact on our mood and psychological wellbeing 4

Activity: Take Stock Of Your Current State Of Connection  Who are the people in your life that you feel the most connected with?  What are the things you do together that build or foster that connection?  How are you most comfortable connecting with others?  When do you connect with others, or when do you most want to connect with others?  Where do you often connect with people? 5

If So Important…Why So Hard?  Changes in how we live  Since WWII American culture shifting from one of ‘we’re in this together’ tight communities, worker unions, longevity on one job to one where value is placed on individuality and autonomy.  People postponing decisions related to creating families (getting married, having children, etc.)  Average person has 11 jobs over lifetime and an equal number of moves  Living more spread out  Changing jobs/schools/moving removes us from one convenient set of social opportunities and puts us in new positions where we have to start again. 6

If So Important…Why So Hard?  Personal perspective  Connections often tied to various roles and settings (where we live/work/learn/socialize)  Disruptions or changes in these – wanted and unwanted  Changing life circumstances – illness, caregiver role, changes in relationship status  It can be harder to make friends as an adult  Our own unique patterns, skills and experiences with making and keeping social connections 7

Reflect and Explore  Have there been any changes you have recently experienced in the Who, What, How, When or Where you experience connection?  What has been the impact of this?  What would you like to be able to do, or do differently, that may have a positive impact on your sense of connection? 8

First Things First – Connecting With Ourselves  Session One on Self Awareness  Mindfulness  It’s easier to connect with others when we feel comfortable with ourselves.  Bringing awareness to our present moment experience can help us learn how to cope more effectively when we feel stressed, anxious, scared, sad, angry, etc.  Gets us out of our heads thinking about what we’re doing, what we think others think of us… helps us settle into ourselves. Feeling comfortable or when we feel anxious around others. We can take care of ourselves in the moment before reacting and acting from this place of discomfort.  Let’s Check In!  3 Step Breathing Space from Session Two 9

How Do You Experience A Sense Of Connection?  Recall a time when you felt comfortable, connected. Were you alone or with people? What were you doing? For example, just hanging out, having a conversation, or doing something together – you were aware of feeling comfortable and connected.  What is this experience like, what are you aware of in your body, mind such as thoughts, emotions or mood?  Recall a time when you felt uncomfortable, disconnection. Were you alone or with people? What were you doing?  What is this experience like, what are you aware of in your body, mind such as thoughts, emotions or mood? 10

Try This! For the next few days, practice Check In with yourself a few times during the day. Practice doing this when you’re alone, and when you’re with others What do you discover? Notice times when you’re more and less comfortable. How do you sense or know this? In your body? Thoughts? Emotions? Notice the people or situations that you’re more or less comfortable with. How do you sense or know this? Reflect – what contributes to times when you feel more and less comfortable? 11

Connecting With Others “A five-minute conversation can make all the difference in the world if the parties participate actively. To make it work, you have to set aside time from what you’re doing, put down your phone, the email or paper you were reading, disengage from your laptop, abandon your daydream and bring your attention to bear upon the person you are with. Usually when you do this, the other person (or people) will feel the energy and respond in kind naturally.” Connect, Edward Hallowell, MD 12

Reflect  Are there certain people you feel more comfortable with?  Are there certain types of situations or interactions when you feel more comfortable with others?  Are there certain people, types of situations or interactions that you know make you uncomfortable. See if you can identify some reasons for this.  Maybe the person is in a certain role that has some real or perceived power over you. Maybe you want something from this person – a relationship, favor, to be liked – some expectation you hope to gain from the interaction. Maybe there is a history of conflict, unfriendliness. 13

Try This!  For the next few days, pay attention to times when you are interacting with others. See if you can spot any habits or patterns in your communication – particularly listening.  Notice times when you feel really engaged and participating in the conversation.  What does this feel like?  Notice times when you disconnect.  What do you do that is disconnecting. For example, stop listening, body language.  What does this feel like?  When you notice you got distracted or disengaged, recognize this.  Take a moment to connect with yourself – feel your breath, body sitting, center yourself  Reengage in the conversation 14

Connecting With Our Communities Try This!  We all feel, on some level, the desire to be part of a community, finding where we ‘fit’. Different roles offer these opportunities  Employee, student, parent, club or team member  Our life circumstances constantly change disrupting these more natural opportunities for community  Explore ways to create a connection to a community  Volunteer  Joining a new club or group  Explore your interests. Connect around these  Explore resources in your community that you haven’t yet – public library, museums, parks, conservation groups, community centers, adult learning centers, sports clubs, etc.  Identify 1-3 community resources you’d like to explore. Make a plan to visit and connect 15

Wrap Up  We’ve explored key pillars of wellbeing and resilience  Self Awareness  Recognizing signs of stress and taking care of your nervous system  Taking stock of how you spend your time  Taking stock of your connections  Review these areas  Is there an area you’d like to strengthen or learn more about  Make a plan 16